When you look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see? What is the first thing that comes to mind when you are asked about who you are as a person?
Aside from your name, what are the things that you know are true about yourself?
All of us know our names, ages, birthdays, and other information we use on a daily basis, but we are more than just data. We have different identities, beliefs, motivations, and goals. Do you truly know who you are? If the answer is “not yet”, how can you start finding the real you?
What does an “inner self” mean?
When we talk about the inner self, we are referring to the identity that many people do not see. It is the values, purpose, beliefs, dreams, and other intangible things that make up a person.
If one wants to know their inner self, the only way they can achieve that is by embarking on a journey of self-realization. This is where it all starts.
What happens if you do not know who you really are?
There are many benefits to knowing the real you. You will know your capabilities and can use them to grow as a person that you will be proud of. Also, you will be able to establish your boundaries and be clear with how you want to be treated and how you want to treat other people. Learning about your genuine character will also help you form better relationships, improve your craft, and even allow you to foster a healthy work and life balance.
On the other hand, if you do not recognize your inner-self, you’ll find that problems start to arise. You can feel lost, stressed, and burdened by your conflicting individuality. At times, you may even be embarrassed by how you treat your own self. When you do not know who you really are, you may never be satisfied and happy, no matter where you are, what your job is, and who you are with.
How can you find your inner self?
Do you feel like you are an impostor of the real you? Are there days when you think that there is no meaning to the life you are living? Is your soul lost? These are just the questions many people are asking when they still have not started their journey to self realization. In reality, many of us are just existing until we just aren’t.
Contrary to what other people believe, there is no set age where you’ll “find yourself”. For many, we have to actively seek it to finally get in touch with our genuine selves. If you are struggling to understand yourself and find inner peace, here are some tips from the people who were successful with their journey towards self-discovery.
10 steps to find your true self
“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good.” – James Allen
1. Remember your past self
Just like they say, your past will never be a guaranteed way of determining who you really are as a person, but it can explain why you act, think, and say the things you do. What does your past look like? Do you know your story?
Many people are afraid to explore negative memories and emotions that happened years ago. This can be due to a variety of reasons, and one of them is primarily trauma. After all, who wants to go back to the things that hurt us and the events that damaged our characters and persona?
It can be difficult to look back at our past, but if we truly want to move on and experience living in the moment, we don’t have a choice in the matter. This is exactly one of the reasons why knowing our true selves can be so complex. Before we step into a stage where we can grow, we need to remember why we are even wilting in the first place.
2. Separate yourself from your other identities
You may be a daughter, mother, grandmother, co-worker, employee, and any other things. However, when you take away your roles – what do you see? If you are not one of those things, who are you as an individual?
Many people get too caught up with their roles. Most of them would be engrossed in an identity that they choose to dwell in, for example, being a mother. For many, having the opportunity to be called a mother is a wonderful thing to experience. However, many mothers may be too caught up with their roles that they forget themselves. They stop doing what they like to do and bury themselves with their family life. Of course, this alone isn’t a bad thing, but disaster may come once her kids are already adults. Mothers may be lost and may find it difficult to transition to being alone since their world solely revolved around being a parent.
Therefore, when we accept another role in our lives, it is important to remember to cultivate our true selves. We may love doing other roles, but at the end of the day, the only role we should not forget is being who we really are.
3. Learn about the things you love to do
What are you passionate about? What are the hobbies you enjoy doing, and what are the things that keep you going? This might sound simple for some, but if you keep peeling back the layers, you’ll find it’s a challenge.
Why does this happen? In several situations, many individuals conform to their groups’ hobbies and passions. For example, even if they do not like golf, they may have to convince themselves that they like it because their co-workers or friends do the same. As a result, they would not know how to entertain themselves if the friend or co-worker cancels a plan or activity.
Being with a group to spend time with can be fun. However, you deserve to know what you truly love to do. Once you discover the things you are passionate about, make sure to reward yourself every now and then.
4. See what you believe in
When you know the things you believe in and value, not only will you learn about yourself, but you will also prove and determine your worth. If you have been in a situation where you are forced to settle for less, it’s easier to fall into that trap again. Nobody deserves to be undermined with what they believe in, and doing so will just result in conflict with yourself.
5. Meditate and express yourself
Knowing who we are will also be easier when we learn to express ourselves. What makes you feel warm and relaxed? For many, meditating is a very effective method that will help us understand our feelings and emotions.
There are many ways to meditate. Some people love doing yoga, some practice guided meditations, while others love listening to music with the 528 Hz Solfeggio frequency known as the love frequency.
The Lovetuner is a revolutionary meditation and mindfulness tool that combines a profound breathing exercise with the 528hz frequency, bringing you into an instant state of relaxation. No matter what works for you, you should always acknowledge how you feel before, during, and after your meditation session. Doing this will help you see the way you think, feel, and allows you to ground yourself.
6. Recognize the relationships you want to keep
What kinds of people do you like surrounding yourself with? Although this goes beyond knowing about yourself, seeking meaning in your relationships is essential in your journey to aligning with your inner self.
Set a time to learn about and observe the kinds of people you want to keep in your life. This can be a good way to see what is important and allows you to envision the space where you can ultimately grow.
7. Acknowledge where you want to be
Ask yourself the following questions: What are your goals, aspirations, and dreams? What is your life’s purpose? Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
If doing this is overwhelming, learn about your vision one step at a time. Doing this will help you realize if the current you is on track to achieving your goals or if you need to make some adjustments.
8. List the things you want to change
What are the things you do not like about yourself? Is there an aspect in your personality or the way you view things that you want to improve on? Taking a moment to recognize what you don’t like will help you unleash your true self.
Keep in mind, however, that acknowledging the things you want to change does not mean that you should hate yourself for your imperfections. Realizing and assessing yourself is far from encouraging self-loathing. Instead, you can use them to develop yourself and even increase your self-esteem.
Before listing down the things you want to change, make sure that you focus on matters that concern your inner self. For example, instead of talking about your weight, talk about the way you treat your body and why you want to value it more. Instead of picking on your appearance, you may want to stop yourself from shying away from compliments.
9. Be kind to yourself
When you are on your path towards knowing your true self, it is easy to feel like a failure. What have you been doing to yourself for the past few years? Why did you not protect yourself from being lost in your job or business? How can you allow others to treat you badly?
It is easy to blame yourself and others for the current you. You may be stuck on the what-ifs and if only’s. However, we are not trying to feel like we have lost all the time and opportunities in the world. Instead, we are on a journey towards self-acceptance. If we are ashamed of who we are, it is not just our confidence that will be shattered. According to an article posted by Harvard Health Publishing, “self-acceptance (or lack thereof), does not exist in a vacuum — it actually has profound effects on your physical and psychological health.” (1)
Try to forgive yourself. You may feel like you do not deserve anything, but the only person that should always believe you is you.
10. Try out new experiences
What happened to finding the real you when you are just putting yourself in new experiences instead? Although it may not look like it, signing up for new journeys will allow you to understand your inner identity even more.
For example, if you traveling alone, you might find that you easily get frustrated when your flight has been moved or you may discover that you are not that good at finding directions. Trying out new things does not even have to be a major event. It can be as simple as getting a new outfit you wouldn’t normally wear, checking out a café instead of going to your usual one, or listening to a new artist you’ve never heard of before.
When you open up to your new opportunities, it is just like jumping up on the chance to see a clearer version of yourself.
Are you looking for more ways to connect with yourself?
Many of us are blind to who we really are. This is what hinders our journey towards self-improvement.
Finding your true self can be challenging. In fact, many of us are struggling to accept who and what we really are. However, it is important to remember that it is okay to be lost. What is not okay is when you do not actively seek ways to know who you are as an individual.
Once you acknowledge the disconnect between the current you and your real self, only then will you be able to start seeing who you truly are.
- Greater self-acceptance improves emotional well-being | Harvard Health Publishing